http://zebrahumor.wordpress.com
Showing posts with label big plot twists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label big plot twists. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Goodbye crap movies. Hello zebra jokes!
I nearly forgot about this but as long as it exists, here is a link to my new project as well a video:
http://zebrahumor.wordpress.com
http://zebrahumor.wordpress.com
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Day 22: The Hourglass Sanatorium
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A man looks for his father in a sanatorium but ends up in wibbly wobbly timey wimey adventure with multiple hats.
Review: It was Polish. There were a lot of Jews. Like the guy walks down some stairs and there are at least 3 dozen. Then he will like go under a bed, end up in Africa or Mexico or something and then a bunch of Jewish dudes. There is also a little creep wearing all stripes. I loved it, but it made absolutely no sense. It was a struggle to come up with a one sentence summary.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A man looks for his father in a sanatorium but ends up in wibbly wobbly timey wimey adventure with multiple hats.
Review: It was Polish. There were a lot of Jews. Like the guy walks down some stairs and there are at least 3 dozen. Then he will like go under a bed, end up in Africa or Mexico or something and then a bunch of Jewish dudes. There is also a little creep wearing all stripes. I loved it, but it made absolutely no sense. It was a struggle to come up with a one sentence summary.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Day 21: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A scoundrel joins circus folk who happen to be lead by a guy who promised his daughter's soul to the devil.
Review: I like jellyfish in space, people's faces changing, deserts in places deserts don't belong, little people, random shards of mirror floating about, and giant ladders that become stilts. Luckily, the movie had all of that. It was incredibly entertaining. I think Heath Ledger died during the making of it and they use the best plot device ever to hide it. If I am wrong and he didn't die during the making of it, it is kind of a shame because just replacing a dead actor with a bunch of other actors is just the way it should be done. Even with the long run time, it held my attention.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A scoundrel joins circus folk who happen to be lead by a guy who promised his daughter's soul to the devil.
Review: I like jellyfish in space, people's faces changing, deserts in places deserts don't belong, little people, random shards of mirror floating about, and giant ladders that become stilts. Luckily, the movie had all of that. It was incredibly entertaining. I think Heath Ledger died during the making of it and they use the best plot device ever to hide it. If I am wrong and he didn't die during the making of it, it is kind of a shame because just replacing a dead actor with a bunch of other actors is just the way it should be done. Even with the long run time, it held my attention.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Day 13: Right At Your Door
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A dirty bomb goes off in L.A.
Review: Most. Depressing. Movie. Ever. High quality, but it will ruin your day.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A dirty bomb goes off in L.A.
Review: Most. Depressing. Movie. Ever. High quality, but it will ruin your day.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Day 9: Trancers 3 & 4
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtimes: 75 minutes, tba Years: 1992, 1994
Plot: Jack Deth travels from 1992 to 2353 to 2005 and then to another dimension where there are vampires.
Review: The Trancers series is fucking amazing! Helen Hunt is only in the third one for about 5 seconds and Jack gets a reptillian android as a new bestie and just when he gets told at the end of Trancers 3 that they are now partners, Trancers 4 opens with Jack turning him into a lamp. The Trancers get even better since in the first 2 movies they are basically zombies. The third, they are soldiers that control their tranciness. The fourth they are vampire nobles. Fucking awesome.
Runtimes: 75 minutes, tba Years: 1992, 1994
Plot: Jack Deth travels from 1992 to 2353 to 2005 and then to another dimension where there are vampires.
Review: The Trancers series is fucking amazing! Helen Hunt is only in the third one for about 5 seconds and Jack gets a reptillian android as a new bestie and just when he gets told at the end of Trancers 3 that they are now partners, Trancers 4 opens with Jack turning him into a lamp. The Trancers get even better since in the first 2 movies they are basically zombies. The third, they are soldiers that control their tranciness. The fourth they are vampire nobles. Fucking awesome.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Day 6: Franklyn
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: 98 minutes Year: 2008
Plot: In religious London, Ryan Phillippe is an angry mask wearing dude, fake Ian Curtis has an imaginary friend, an angst filled artist likes suicide, and a guy is looking for his son.
Review: It is a bad idea to wait until the end of the day when you are dead tired to watch a movie with multiple narratives. Luckily the costuming and casting were pretty fun so I didn't mind that I was confused as to what was going on. Sam Riley from Control was in it and so I decided he was Ian Curtis. Also since Ryan Phillippe generally gets a lot of pretty boy roles, I like to think he put on the mask was a way of uglying himself for an Oscar (i.e. Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, etc).The ending is pretty rad and all the story lines intersect. And there is a good long creepy bit of silent eye contact. I'd totally watch it again.
Runtime: 98 minutes Year: 2008
Plot: In religious London, Ryan Phillippe is an angry mask wearing dude, fake Ian Curtis has an imaginary friend, an angst filled artist likes suicide, and a guy is looking for his son.
Review: It is a bad idea to wait until the end of the day when you are dead tired to watch a movie with multiple narratives. Luckily the costuming and casting were pretty fun so I didn't mind that I was confused as to what was going on. Sam Riley from Control was in it and so I decided he was Ian Curtis. Also since Ryan Phillippe generally gets a lot of pretty boy roles, I like to think he put on the mask was a way of uglying himself for an Oscar (i.e. Charlize Theron, Nicole Kidman, etc).The ending is pretty rad and all the story lines intersect. And there is a good long creepy bit of silent eye contact. I'd totally watch it again.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Day 5: Artifacts
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: 75 minutes Year: 2007
Plot: A group of friends that don't remember how they met keep getting killed by their doubles who are tracking them through "artefacts".
Review: This is the Schindler's List of crap movies. First off the set design includes rotary phones, lava lamps, and indoor wind chimes. Despite the title being Artifacts, they misspell it as "artefacts" in a search engine. The only crying is single-tear crying. A mysterious man named Carl Francken appears and does nothing but give incredibly vague yet helpful advice and saves the day. In 75 minutes, it does nothing but provide mass entertainment.
Runtime: 75 minutes Year: 2007
Plot: A group of friends that don't remember how they met keep getting killed by their doubles who are tracking them through "artefacts".
Review: This is the Schindler's List of crap movies. First off the set design includes rotary phones, lava lamps, and indoor wind chimes. Despite the title being Artifacts, they misspell it as "artefacts" in a search engine. The only crying is single-tear crying. A mysterious man named Carl Francken appears and does nothing but give incredibly vague yet helpful advice and saves the day. In 75 minutes, it does nothing but provide mass entertainment.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Day 3: Shutter
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: 90 minutes Year: 2008
Plot: Pacey from Dawson's Creek let his ex get raped, so she comes back as a ghost and terrorizes him,his wife, and his friends mostly by showing up in photographs.
Review: Pretty crap. Nobody was likable. Pacey was an asshole and Mrs. Pacey did nothing but whine and look really sincere. I love 90 minute movies because they move pretty quickly, but instead it was "suspenseful". Suspense generally just means waiting for something to good happen and nothing good happened until the very end. Pacey's wife leaves him and so he starts snapping Polaroids and screaming the ghost. He throws the camera and somehow manages to snap a picture of himself. It turns out that the ghost has been straddling his neck since the very beginning and so he electrocutes himself in the neck and head. Then time has passed and he is in a hospital looking brain-damaged with the ghost on his back. At the very least, the suspense did eventually lead up to an ending I wouldn't have predicted, even if it did suck.
Runtime: 90 minutes Year: 2008
Plot: Pacey from Dawson's Creek let his ex get raped, so she comes back as a ghost and terrorizes him,his wife, and his friends mostly by showing up in photographs.
Review: Pretty crap. Nobody was likable. Pacey was an asshole and Mrs. Pacey did nothing but whine and look really sincere. I love 90 minute movies because they move pretty quickly, but instead it was "suspenseful". Suspense generally just means waiting for something to good happen and nothing good happened until the very end. Pacey's wife leaves him and so he starts snapping Polaroids and screaming the ghost. He throws the camera and somehow manages to snap a picture of himself. It turns out that the ghost has been straddling his neck since the very beginning and so he electrocutes himself in the neck and head. Then time has passed and he is in a hospital looking brain-damaged with the ghost on his back. At the very least, the suspense did eventually lead up to an ending I wouldn't have predicted, even if it did suck.
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