Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: 86 minutes Year: TBD
Plot: Clive Owen does lots of shooting. The reason for the shooting is that Clive Owen finds a baby, and Paul Giamatti is not happy about it. So Clive Owen gets a lactating hooker to help him out.
Review: The title pretty much said it all. It leaves out that Clive Owen's second choice weapon is a carrot and many a person gets their face impaled with a carrot. Also, carrots seem to be a proper alternative to fingers in pulling a trigger. Clive Owen delivers the baby right before the mother gets shot and cuts the umbilical cord with a gun. He makes contraptions for shooting guns. There is a skydiving scene with what else? A gunfight. And after all the problems are resolved, Clive Owen happens to be at a diner right as it gets robbed by people with guns. The movie ends with another shoot out. It was entertaining enough, but I certainly wouldn't watch it again. I think I may have grown a penis in the process of watching it.
Showing posts with label sidekick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sidekick. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Day 9: Trancers 3 & 4
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtimes: 75 minutes, tba Years: 1992, 1994
Plot: Jack Deth travels from 1992 to 2353 to 2005 and then to another dimension where there are vampires.
Review: The Trancers series is fucking amazing! Helen Hunt is only in the third one for about 5 seconds and Jack gets a reptillian android as a new bestie and just when he gets told at the end of Trancers 3 that they are now partners, Trancers 4 opens with Jack turning him into a lamp. The Trancers get even better since in the first 2 movies they are basically zombies. The third, they are soldiers that control their tranciness. The fourth they are vampire nobles. Fucking awesome.
Runtimes: 75 minutes, tba Years: 1992, 1994
Plot: Jack Deth travels from 1992 to 2353 to 2005 and then to another dimension where there are vampires.
Review: The Trancers series is fucking amazing! Helen Hunt is only in the third one for about 5 seconds and Jack gets a reptillian android as a new bestie and just when he gets told at the end of Trancers 3 that they are now partners, Trancers 4 opens with Jack turning him into a lamp. The Trancers get even better since in the first 2 movies they are basically zombies. The third, they are soldiers that control their tranciness. The fourth they are vampire nobles. Fucking awesome.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Day 1: UHF
Method of acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: 97 minutes Year: 1989
Plot: Weird Al goes from fast food clerk to running his own television station which becomes a hit overnight much to the dismay of a rival station owner.
Review: Everything in this movie can be put into at least one of these two categories: wackiness or physical comedy. Michael Richards plays a janitor who gets his own television show and has big teeth! How wacky! There is a battle where Weird Al has really big muscles! Even more wacky! Many of the new television shows that Weird Al puts on the station are wacky spoofs. A really awesome trophy makes a cameo and a good trophy can make up for a lot. All in all, it was awesomely predictable, but not as awesomely bad as I had hoped for.
Runtime: 97 minutes Year: 1989
Plot: Weird Al goes from fast food clerk to running his own television station which becomes a hit overnight much to the dismay of a rival station owner.
Review: Everything in this movie can be put into at least one of these two categories: wackiness or physical comedy. Michael Richards plays a janitor who gets his own television show and has big teeth! How wacky! There is a battle where Weird Al has really big muscles! Even more wacky! Many of the new television shows that Weird Al puts on the station are wacky spoofs. A really awesome trophy makes a cameo and a good trophy can make up for a lot. All in all, it was awesomely predictable, but not as awesomely bad as I had hoped for.
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