Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A group of National Guard trainees get killed/tortured/raped by a group of inbred mutants.
Review: First off, by having the protagonists all be dressed in tan in the desert makes for a very boring color palette. It also makes all the times they don't just shoot the creeps that much more infuriating. The cast was pretty rad. It included Flex Alexander (Snakes On A Plane) and some girl from 90210 (the new series). It wasn't as gorey as I feared. The acting was hilarious and inbred mountain folks are probably the scariest murderers there are.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Day 18: Immortel Ad Vitam
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year:TBD
Plot: Horus (the god) comes back to a futuristic world to impregnate a mutant with blue hair while in the body of a man with a metal leg.
Review: This is absolutely the hardest movie to pay attention to even while looking at the screen the whole time. So much weird shit happens in the background that it is impossible to focus on everything. Also Horus who is a man with a bird head talks through his neck. Some people are computer animated. Some are not. Oh and weird little dudes come out of the walls. So entertaining
Runtime: TBD Year:TBD
Plot: Horus (the god) comes back to a futuristic world to impregnate a mutant with blue hair while in the body of a man with a metal leg.
Review: This is absolutely the hardest movie to pay attention to even while looking at the screen the whole time. So much weird shit happens in the background that it is impossible to focus on everything. Also Horus who is a man with a bird head talks through his neck. Some people are computer animated. Some are not. Oh and weird little dudes come out of the walls. So entertaining
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Day 16: Evil Bong
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A bong steals souls.
Review: Entertaining. Moved quickly. Kick-ass guest appearances including (but not limited to) Tim Thomerson and Tommy Chong. The broads in it were remarkably unfierce. The scenes of the people getting trapped in the bong were rad, as were the musical interludes. Great set design.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A bong steals souls.
Review: Entertaining. Moved quickly. Kick-ass guest appearances including (but not limited to) Tim Thomerson and Tommy Chong. The broads in it were remarkably unfierce. The scenes of the people getting trapped in the bong were rad, as were the musical interludes. Great set design.
Day 17: Kill Theory
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A group of friends must kill each other until one survivor remains.
Review: It is a perfectly decent movie. The best part is that the great Taryn Manning is in it. Also the fat gay guy from Mean Girls is there and attempts to get all up on Taryn Manning. It is rather good but forgettable.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A group of friends must kill each other until one survivor remains.
Review: It is a perfectly decent movie. The best part is that the great Taryn Manning is in it. Also the fat gay guy from Mean Girls is there and attempts to get all up on Taryn Manning. It is rather good but forgettable.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Day 15: Bladerunner
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: Harrison Ford fights replicants.
Review: Oh wow....It sucked. It may have had something to do with me having a hard time grasping what a replicant was since it wasn't really clear until about my 100th question as to what was going on. The plot was kind of like algebra. I could understand every word, but as far as stringing them together in a sentence- I was completely lost. It could be either my horrible attention span or that it is just a crap movie (though the votes seem to indicate it is my horrible attention span). Darryl Hannah has really really bad hair. Harrison Ford is always too arrogant for my taste, but he manages to pull of bumbling and arrogant in a completely non-charming way. Ugh.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: Harrison Ford fights replicants.
Review: Oh wow....It sucked. It may have had something to do with me having a hard time grasping what a replicant was since it wasn't really clear until about my 100th question as to what was going on. The plot was kind of like algebra. I could understand every word, but as far as stringing them together in a sentence- I was completely lost. It could be either my horrible attention span or that it is just a crap movie (though the votes seem to indicate it is my horrible attention span). Darryl Hannah has really really bad hair. Harrison Ford is always too arrogant for my taste, but he manages to pull of bumbling and arrogant in a completely non-charming way. Ugh.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Day 14: Shoot 'Em Up
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: 86 minutes Year: TBD
Plot: Clive Owen does lots of shooting. The reason for the shooting is that Clive Owen finds a baby, and Paul Giamatti is not happy about it. So Clive Owen gets a lactating hooker to help him out.
Review: The title pretty much said it all. It leaves out that Clive Owen's second choice weapon is a carrot and many a person gets their face impaled with a carrot. Also, carrots seem to be a proper alternative to fingers in pulling a trigger. Clive Owen delivers the baby right before the mother gets shot and cuts the umbilical cord with a gun. He makes contraptions for shooting guns. There is a skydiving scene with what else? A gunfight. And after all the problems are resolved, Clive Owen happens to be at a diner right as it gets robbed by people with guns. The movie ends with another shoot out. It was entertaining enough, but I certainly wouldn't watch it again. I think I may have grown a penis in the process of watching it.
Runtime: 86 minutes Year: TBD
Plot: Clive Owen does lots of shooting. The reason for the shooting is that Clive Owen finds a baby, and Paul Giamatti is not happy about it. So Clive Owen gets a lactating hooker to help him out.
Review: The title pretty much said it all. It leaves out that Clive Owen's second choice weapon is a carrot and many a person gets their face impaled with a carrot. Also, carrots seem to be a proper alternative to fingers in pulling a trigger. Clive Owen delivers the baby right before the mother gets shot and cuts the umbilical cord with a gun. He makes contraptions for shooting guns. There is a skydiving scene with what else? A gunfight. And after all the problems are resolved, Clive Owen happens to be at a diner right as it gets robbed by people with guns. The movie ends with another shoot out. It was entertaining enough, but I certainly wouldn't watch it again. I think I may have grown a penis in the process of watching it.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Day 13: Right At Your Door
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A dirty bomb goes off in L.A.
Review: Most. Depressing. Movie. Ever. High quality, but it will ruin your day.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A dirty bomb goes off in L.A.
Review: Most. Depressing. Movie. Ever. High quality, but it will ruin your day.
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