http://zebrahumor.wordpress.com
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Goodbye crap movies. Hello zebra jokes!
I nearly forgot about this but as long as it exists, here is a link to my new project as well a video:
http://zebrahumor.wordpress.com
http://zebrahumor.wordpress.com
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Day 24: Voices
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A girl keeps almost getting murdered due to a curse and there is a mysterious guy who seems to know what is going on.
Review: It was decent. If it were American, it would have probably sucked. I think it was Japanese but the box does not say. There was an obese person. The obese rarely make it in probably-Japanese movies and that made it special.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A girl keeps almost getting murdered due to a curse and there is a mysterious guy who seems to know what is going on.
Review: It was decent. If it were American, it would have probably sucked. I think it was Japanese but the box does not say. There was an obese person. The obese rarely make it in probably-Japanese movies and that made it special.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Day 23: Warriors of Terra
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A group of animal activists break into a lab where someone has escaped and is killing everyone.
Review: Completely decent movie until the end where it tries to be suspenseful. There is furious typing and hobbling. If people have been getting killed for over an hour, it is pretty dull to watch someone type fast and someone else limp about. Running? Okay. Grabbing weapons? Good idea. Barricading stuff while someone tries to break through? Entertaining. But typing is one of the most mundane things one can do and limping is a pretty slow method of transportation.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A group of animal activists break into a lab where someone has escaped and is killing everyone.
Review: Completely decent movie until the end where it tries to be suspenseful. There is furious typing and hobbling. If people have been getting killed for over an hour, it is pretty dull to watch someone type fast and someone else limp about. Running? Okay. Grabbing weapons? Good idea. Barricading stuff while someone tries to break through? Entertaining. But typing is one of the most mundane things one can do and limping is a pretty slow method of transportation.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Day 22: The Hourglass Sanatorium
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A man looks for his father in a sanatorium but ends up in wibbly wobbly timey wimey adventure with multiple hats.
Review: It was Polish. There were a lot of Jews. Like the guy walks down some stairs and there are at least 3 dozen. Then he will like go under a bed, end up in Africa or Mexico or something and then a bunch of Jewish dudes. There is also a little creep wearing all stripes. I loved it, but it made absolutely no sense. It was a struggle to come up with a one sentence summary.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A man looks for his father in a sanatorium but ends up in wibbly wobbly timey wimey adventure with multiple hats.
Review: It was Polish. There were a lot of Jews. Like the guy walks down some stairs and there are at least 3 dozen. Then he will like go under a bed, end up in Africa or Mexico or something and then a bunch of Jewish dudes. There is also a little creep wearing all stripes. I loved it, but it made absolutely no sense. It was a struggle to come up with a one sentence summary.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Day 21: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A scoundrel joins circus folk who happen to be lead by a guy who promised his daughter's soul to the devil.
Review: I like jellyfish in space, people's faces changing, deserts in places deserts don't belong, little people, random shards of mirror floating about, and giant ladders that become stilts. Luckily, the movie had all of that. It was incredibly entertaining. I think Heath Ledger died during the making of it and they use the best plot device ever to hide it. If I am wrong and he didn't die during the making of it, it is kind of a shame because just replacing a dead actor with a bunch of other actors is just the way it should be done. Even with the long run time, it held my attention.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A scoundrel joins circus folk who happen to be lead by a guy who promised his daughter's soul to the devil.
Review: I like jellyfish in space, people's faces changing, deserts in places deserts don't belong, little people, random shards of mirror floating about, and giant ladders that become stilts. Luckily, the movie had all of that. It was incredibly entertaining. I think Heath Ledger died during the making of it and they use the best plot device ever to hide it. If I am wrong and he didn't die during the making of it, it is kind of a shame because just replacing a dead actor with a bunch of other actors is just the way it should be done. Even with the long run time, it held my attention.
Day 20: Black Dahlia
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: Josh Hartnett tries to solve a murder
Review: Really really really slow. There are plot twists but it takes so long to get to them I don't even think they count. The wardrobe was pretty sweet. There were lots of good hats. Every murder mystery needs a creepy clown painting. It was cute that Josh Hartnett and Aaron Eckhart were besties who boxed and solved crimes together and call themselves Mr. Fire and Mr. Ice. If the movie had been cut down to an hour, it could have been rad. Unfortunately, it wasn't
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: Josh Hartnett tries to solve a murder
Review: Really really really slow. There are plot twists but it takes so long to get to them I don't even think they count. The wardrobe was pretty sweet. There were lots of good hats. Every murder mystery needs a creepy clown painting. It was cute that Josh Hartnett and Aaron Eckhart were besties who boxed and solved crimes together and call themselves Mr. Fire and Mr. Ice. If the movie had been cut down to an hour, it could have been rad. Unfortunately, it wasn't
Monday, September 13, 2010
Day 19: The Hills Have Eyes 2
Method of Acquisition: Borrowed
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A group of National Guard trainees get killed/tortured/raped by a group of inbred mutants.
Review: First off, by having the protagonists all be dressed in tan in the desert makes for a very boring color palette. It also makes all the times they don't just shoot the creeps that much more infuriating. The cast was pretty rad. It included Flex Alexander (Snakes On A Plane) and some girl from 90210 (the new series). It wasn't as gorey as I feared. The acting was hilarious and inbred mountain folks are probably the scariest murderers there are.
Runtime: TBD Year: TBD
Plot: A group of National Guard trainees get killed/tortured/raped by a group of inbred mutants.
Review: First off, by having the protagonists all be dressed in tan in the desert makes for a very boring color palette. It also makes all the times they don't just shoot the creeps that much more infuriating. The cast was pretty rad. It included Flex Alexander (Snakes On A Plane) and some girl from 90210 (the new series). It wasn't as gorey as I feared. The acting was hilarious and inbred mountain folks are probably the scariest murderers there are.
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